Jack's memos
by E. Nagrom
Summary: We all know that Jack never recieves memos and is behind the times. This is a few ideas on how he never recieves a memo
1. Chapter 1

Everyone knows that Col. O'Neill has never received a memo and is behind the times. This is a series of ideas on why there is no Memo's for Jack O'Neill. (If anyone has any suggestions I would be glade to hear them)

E.

_Title _Jack's Memo's

_Rating _G suitable for all

_Genre _ummm….making fun of Jack I suppose

_Reviews_ mean love (or hate) please review

_A/N _This is only a time filler while I try to get more ideas for my other SG1 fiction.

Do I own Stargate SG-1? No but I do have some cool pictures and box sets :) Seriously this is not mine nor will ever be mine :(.

Jack walked down the ramp of the Stargate to see the Russian Col. Standing next to General George Hammond.

"Jack Colonel Checkov is here to see the X-306 in action; I assume 1500 tomorrow is still suitable?" Hammond greeted him

"Sure general." Jack replied _Why, oh why, don't we get memos around here? _Jack thought to himself as he walked past the General and colonel.

_**Four days ago**_

Jack was trying to teach Teal'c how to juggle in the gym when for the third time Teal'c dropped the balls and had to go chasing them.

"I do not think this is a suitable activity to learn O'Neill." Teal'c replied trying not to show his annoyance.

"This is easy T. Ok we'll try with something that won't go away. I know here try with this paper ball." Jack scrunched a piece of paper out of his back pocket and handed it to Teal'c.

"Col. O'Neill? This is for you." An air sergeant said handing Jack a memo.

"Ahh thank you Airman. See now we have two balls for you to practice your juggling with and they won't run away."

A/N I know this is kinda short but I wanted to see if anyone was interested in this or not. Please R&R

E.


	2. I've never had a desk

A/N

Thanks to SG-fan and Dreaming of Jack for your reviews and to everyone who has put my story on alert.

Here's another scenario where Jack has not received a memo.

Oh and haven't won lotto yet so I don't own Stargate itself ... (still dreaming though)

**_I don't even have my own office. Season 9_**

Jack O'Neill was still in shock of being offered the promotion of Brig. Gen. O'Neill the title didn't even fit his name….hell there were others especially his teachers at school and academy who wouldn't have thought it possible to make it past Corporal with out straining a few brain cells.

Jack new he had to talk this over with his team so he headed to Carter's lab where he new the rest of SG-1 were more than likely going to be. He was right they were in her office Carter facing the door Teal'c and Daniel were facing her.

"I'm the new general." Jack blurted out before he could say anything. SG-1 took a moment before Carter was the first to speak.

"Wow"

"Wow?" Jack replied sitting next to Daniel and Teal'c

"I mean this is an excellent opportunity for you…" Carter tried to amend.

"Congratulations on your advancement O'Neill." Teal'c said Jack leant forward feeling much older than he is.

"I really don't know if I want to do this or not…I mean I can't be the man." Jack replied.

"You can do what ever you want." Daniel encouraged

"I can do what ever I want." Jack thought about the off world fishing holes he could attend with out having to come up with reason's why they should go, or for the SG teams to be able to wear jeans off world.

"Within reason." Carter amended imagining what the colonel might be thinking

"I have never even had my own desk before…" Jack stated.

"Actually sir, we all have one…" Carter replied she led SG-1 to Jacks' office that had his desk top, drawers and floor covered in pieces of paper.

"Looks like someone held a ticket tape parade." Jack commented SG-1 were careful where they trod as they walked in the room.

"Hey this should be carbon dated." Daniel said trying to make out what was written on the paper.

"Right up your ally then Danny-boy." Jack replied Sam and Teal'c were looking at fistfuls of paper.

"Sir, looks like we found all the missing memo's." Carter stated

"Well how was I supposed to read them if I didn't know about this place?" Jack asked.

"Were you not shown your office on the day of orientation?" Teal'c asked

"T my day of orientation was to send a Kleenex box through the gate….which by the way I ordered you to bury." Jack shot at Daniel who chose that moment in time to be fascinated by a large pile of free standing memos.

A/N

Ok not as good as my first one but wanted to share any way. The last dig at Daniel had been plaguing me every time I watch the movie and first season of stargate. (I'm sad I know)

Please R&R

E.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi

Thanks for the reviews;

Jack was trying not to open his eyes to much as he had a migraine worse than when he was 'de-knowledged' from the Ancient head sucker, he didn't know what caused it only that he woke up from staring at his report to feel like their was a tambourine practice for three year olds in his head.

Turning into the infirmary Jack's head split with more pain and sounds it took a few steps to realize that it was his foot causing the extra noise he noticed that the room had ladders, hammers and paint cans every where.

"Colonel what can I do for you?" Janet asked walking up from behind.

"Headache." Jack groaned Janet led him to the makeshift infirmary down the hall.

"Would have to be a big one to have you come greet me, guess what. I'll only give you one shot how's that?" Janet joked but only got a groan from him. Janet withdrew some blood and gave him a morphine shot Jack leant back and waited for the meds to work.

"Colonel Didn't you get the memo about the renovations?" Sam asked—Jack groaned he forgot she was wounded

"For—forgot." Jack replied.

Jack was sick of hearing about P3X-11Y and about the new rocks that could help the ecosystem and the plants to allow Daniel to learn about the Egyptians…or something like that. Jack was too busy leaning back and forth in his chair as he did at school enjoying Daniel losing his place trying to convince Hammond in letting SG-1 and SG-6 to go and learn about the planet.

"Colonel O'Neill is there something wrong with your seat?" Hammond asked

"No sir." Jack replied he stayed still but the rocks were boring but nothing compared to the plants. Jack leant on the table to find it was unsteady he gently rocked it too and fro similar to the chair.

"O'Neill I believe this may be of aid." Teal'c said, Jack was about to see what it was when Sam grabbed the paper, tore it in two folded it and corrected the chair and table.

"Thanks Sam" Daniel replied and went back to his rocks. Jack spent the rest of the briefing in total boredom with nothing to do. _"What was that paper Teal'c gave me? Oh well find out when this is over."_ Jack had only just finished thinking that when the alarms sounded

"UNAUTHORISED WORMHOLE ACTIVITY" Walter yelled over the P.A and the alarms sounded Jack got up out of his chair the note well forgotten.

A/N

Well that's another chapter up hope you enjoyed it please review as it makes me feel loved. If you have any ideas or CONSTUCTIVE criticism I would appreciate it, can't learn what you like otherwise.

E.


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